I Married Two Wives To Have Free Access To My Conjugal Rights —Isoko Farmer

Ebenezer Adurokiya was at the ceremony where a farmer got married to two ladies. He brings the inside story of an event that rocked the sleepy community at Lagos-Igbide in Isoko South Local Government Area of Delta State.

It was a sunny day at Lagos Igbide in Isoko South Local Government Area, Delta State, when a man, Ekpe Akpove Blessing, defied modern norms and got married to two women same day at a colourful wedding ceremony. The 33-year-old groom had, a week before August 15, 2021, the day of the wedding, announced the event on the social media. The announcement elicited a flurry of condemnations and commendations.

The wedding occasion drew an unprecedented large crowd and attention from far and near. Though it was a Sunday, the venue of the wedding ceremony was agog as early as 10:00 a.m. At the groom’s compound which is the venue of the ceremony, the aroma of varieties of Isoko foods filled the air.

Interestingly, it was gathered that the trio had been married for about 12 years, but without the payment of the bride price of the two ladies – Kome and Maro.

In Isoko land and across the Niger Delta, marriages could be contracted and consummated even years before the bride price is paid, inasmuch as parents of the bride had given their consent. This is sometimes due to financial challenges on the part of the man. In essence, marriages so contracted could have produced children even before the bride price is paid. This is the case of Akpove and his two wives who already had six children – two boys and one girl a-piece.

The event proper started at about 2:00p.m after most churches had wrapped up their  services. The groom’s family, both in-laws, Lagos-Igbide community women, Emo-Otu community women, the Lagos-Igbide vigilantes and other groups all took centre stage to celebrate the couple! They were dressed in different colourful attires as they all danced to the music supplied by a local pop live band. The groom, Akpove, was clad in a colourful Isoko native attire, beaming with smiles.

Speaking on his two wives, Akpove said he loves both of them equally. He added that he had always admired the love and understanding among his wives and how they live peacefully with their children under the same roof and that it was both wives who brought the idea of fixing the wedding proper for the same day.

Arrival of brides

While the groom stood at the centre of the venue, waiting to receive his wives, the first one, Oghenekome, adorning a purple silk dress was ushered into the arena by some women amid pomp with a big leather box and some aluminum bowls and other traditional items. Her husband, with a staff in his right hand and a felt hat, offered her some temporary warmth and confidence to face the unprecedented crowd with his left hand.

A short while later, the second wife, Oghenemaro or Maro for short, from Ukpuku family, also emerged in similar colourful purple attire beaming with contagious smiles, dancing delightfully towards her husband who embraced her as he did the first. Balanced on the heads of some members of her dancing entourage were her box and other items of the traditional marriage rites.

After receiving his beautiful wives, which he also did by the ritual spraying of naira notes on them, the groom took them by his hands and danced round to appreciate the gathering, moving from canopy to the other as guests cheered them ‘spraying money on them as they danced to their seats aesthetically designed with flowers mostly of white and green colours. The groom sat in between his brides with pride.

 

Why I married two wives – Akpove

Though his father was monogamous, Akpove said he preferred polygamy for certain reasons. According to him, “I married two so that if one shuns me when I request sex, I can easily go to my second wife. My father didn’t marry more than one “ he  said, adding that polygamy would also eliminate the possibility of having mistresses.

“As per cheating, that’s why it’s good to marry as many wives as possible. I don’t want to behave like those politicians who keep their wives at home and go after side chicks to satisfy their sexual appetite,” he admonished.

He unveiled details on his two wives and how he has been able to manage them in the same roof successfully. “They bear my name. We live together. They have children, already. I started dating them at different times. I’m a farmer,” he noted.

Many people would easily see Akpove as a rich man.  On the contrary, the fairly educated man said he needed financial help to cater for his family. He jokingly requested to be made the Minister of Women Affairs.

“Only God is blessing me to care for them. With little work, God helps me. One of them is a hairdresser and the other a nurse. They’re not really rich. I wish I can be empowered to cater for them, such as making me minister of women affairs. That could help. It’s a burden to marry two. But if you’re not rich to enjoy life, the other thing that can make one happy is women. Even if you’re rich but your manhood is not functioning well, you will be an angry man.

“I’ll keep encouraging my wives that things will be better. They both have two boys, one girl each. To manage them is in God’s hands. I’m a Christian, a churchgoer and not a man of God. Solomon had several wives. I only have two. I believe God will help me to take care of them. If one shuns me, I go to the other for solace. I love them equally. I’ll have both of them by my side for our honeymoon in the hotel room,” he boasted.

When asked to gauge the feelings of his family, relatives and friends as regards his polygamous status, he said: “My friends love it. They encourage me, though they are not polygamous.”

 

Brides express satisfaction, misgiving

However, as the trio continues with their marital life, the two wives have different opinions about the number involved in the marriage. The first wife, Kome, said she was okay with just two women and a husband in the marriage.

“It’s not a big thing to marry two wives. Instead of having side chicks like even some pastors do, is it not better to marry two wives? But I won’t allow him to marry another wife, again. (We two of us) are enough for him,” she quipped.

On the contrary, the second wife, Maro, said she would not mind if her husband takes a third wife.

“My father married only one wife. I love my husband, that’s why I married him. There’ll be no problem with my rival. If my husband decides to marry another girl, I won’t mind. It’s his choice. I advise young girls to consider polygamy,” she admonished.

 

Married to five wives

A cleric, Pastor Jonathan Ekpe, Pastor-in-Charge of Church of God in Heaven, Patani, who’s the eldest brother and father figure of the groom, speaking on polygamy said though he is a pastor he married five wives in 2010! According to him, he married three of his wives the same day, adding that in Isokoland, a man can marry as many as 10 wives since, according to him, women are more in number than men. He opined that even as a pastor, a man can marry as many wives with their bride price fully paid and would not amount to a sin against God.

“Marrying more than one wife has been a culture in Lagos-Igbide and Akpove is not the first to have done it in the community. It is just that this one went viral,” he said, just as he enjoined other pastors to marry more wives to reduce the number of spinsters seeking partners.

One of the invited guests, Miss Happiness Egwowa, who also designed the wedding banner, expressed mixed feelings about the marriage. She opined that as a single lady, she would not plunge into such a union as she would not want to share her husband with any other lady.