The Significance Of Courtship Before Marriage

The Significance Of
Courtship Before Marriage
One of the
happiest days
in the live of a
man or woman
is the wedding
day, but before
the coming
together of the
man and the
woman, there
is this period
called the
courtship. How
significant is this period? This article intends to outline
the needs and benefits of courtship.
Courtship is that period of time between when a man
says to a woman “I want to marry you” and when they
actually wed.  According to Wikipedia,
“Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which
precedes their engagement and marriage, or
establishment of an agreed relationship of a more
enduring kind”. During courtship, a couple get to know
each other and decide if there will be an engagement or
other such agreement
How Significance is Courtship?
The importance of courtship in the life and times of the
intended couples cannot be overemphasized. It is
necessary for the expected couples to have the
opportunity to meet and date each other before one
decides on whether to continue with the relationship or
not. Young people are expected to court with the
intention of finding a marriage partner rather than any
other social reasons.
In some traditional society, the parents or community
proposed potential partners and allow limited courting
period to determine whether the partners are suited.  In
some other traditional society, courtship is highly
structured activities with specified formal rules. The
parents are often seen as part of courtship practice as
their consent and approval are commonly needed
before the beginning of the relationship. Between this
period of courtship, parents have a role to play by being
there for them in terms of advice, courage and
teaching. Admonishing their children on what they are
about to get into, knowing that marriage is not just
something you rush into unadvisedly. Naturally, in the
formal engagement, it has been perceived that it is the
role of a male partner to actively court or role a female,
thus encouraging her interest in him and receptiveness
to a proposal of marriage
Courtship is very valuable because, it enables the
couple to lay a foundation for the kind of marriage they
want to have. How many children to want to bear, what
kind of home they want to live, how do they want to
relate with each other at home. It gives them the
opportunity to begin to plan for their future.
How long should courtship last?
According to a marriage Consultant, the duration of
courtship varies from couple to couple. The younger
couples, for instance, they could afford a very long
courtship which might be one year, two years or a bit
more. For older and more mature couples, I wouldn’t
advice you to court that long. It could be two months,
three months depending on their level of preparation
and maturity.
For me, what is ideal when it comes to the duration of
courtship is the determination or level of preparedness
on the part of the couple. There is no particular time
that one can say it is right for courtship. Of course you
will agree with me that it should neither be tool long or
too short.
What should you look out for during Courtship?
1. Love: The most important thing you should look
out for during courtship is love because love
answers for all. Fundamentally, when love is
there, you can imagine any other thing working
out and vice versa.
2. Tolerance: Ability to tolerate each other during
the courtship period will determine their ability
to coexist after the wedding.
3. Money: I know money is not everything but it’s
worth consideration. Is your would-be husband
financially capable to take care for the family
and the planned kids?
4. Health: during courtship, you must, as a matter
of importance, determine the health status of
your intending spouse. There are these present
issues of hereditary incompatibility that accrues
disappointments in marriages. Determine your
spouse’s genotype. Does it match with yours? I
know you wouldn’t want to give birth to a
sickler, God forbid! What about HIV and lots
more?
5. Settlement: This is also very important point to
consider during courtship.
6. Children: Do you want children out of this
relationship? If yes, how many? Start now that
you are courting to plan for your family. Not
when you have up to one dozen children that you
will talk about family planning.
7. Individual potentials and setbacks: during
courtship, try and understand the potentials an
weakness of your intending spouse. Learn his or
personality and understand his or her
temperedness.
The list is inexhaustive, while courting, it is imperative
for both partners to look out for admirable values as it
will help to inform and guide him or her before making
the final decision.
Therefore, remember that whatever decision you make
in your courtship today will either make you or mare
you. Be wise.