Are house helps necessary (Necessarily)evil? (1)

On March 27, 2014, a house help, simply identified as David,
killed and beheaded his former boss, a 65-year-old retired
Chief Magistrate, Olufunmilayo Timeyin, at her residence in
Ogun State.
Timeyin had two weeks earlier sacked David for allegedly
stealing her valuables, including phones and jewelry. He
was arrested for the theft and ironically it was his victim
who requested that David be released.
On February 24, 2014, I came back to the office and was
informed about a show of shame and cruelty that took place
in the neighbourhood in my absence. A clergyman’s wife
beat her house help silly, biting her on the buttocks. On
October 28, 2013, a 27-year-old woman, Chiamaka
Nnajiofor, was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment for her
culpability in the death of her housekeeper, Oliver Arakwe.
What drove Nnajiofor to the extreme that landed her in this
mess? These cases bring us to our topic today.
First, are house helps people you do not like but must learn
to live with because you cannot really do without them
(Necessary evil)? Second, can anything good come out of
house helps (Necessarily evil)? The stories of house helps
we hear are horrifying, intriguing and mind-boggling.
They range from stealing of employer’s properties
sometimes running into millions to stories of sex abuse of,
and unbelievable cruelty to, the children put in their care.
They also organise armed gangs to rob their employers and
orchestrate the kidnapping of their employers or their
employers’ children. Like a needle in a haystack, you hear a
good story occasionally.
One of the tales I heard recently was about a friend’s former
neighbour. He said that the only way he knew his neighbour
was home was when he heard the house help screaming.
Any time the house was quiet, madam was not at home.
This trend continued for a long time despite neighbours’
plea and advice that she should either stop beating the
house help or send her away.
My friend said that on one of those days when the flat was
quiet; he was passing by and noticed that the entrance door
was slightly ajar. He knocked but there was no response.
He called the house help and the children, still no response.
Out of curiosity, he opened the door and went in. He started
calling and walking around, still no response. As he was
passing by the deep freezer, he heard a noise from within.
Luckily, it was not locked. He opened and behold the
neighbour’s son and daughter were in there; the house help
had tucked them in for-a-forever sleep and disappeared
perhaps back to the neighbouring country from whence she
came. For her, it was payback time; the enormity was
inconsequential.
I do not believe in stereotypes, so I cannot label all house
helps as evil. The issue is multifaceted. When teaching and
counselling would-be couples; I always remind them of the
challenges that come when they start having children. That
is actually when the need for a house help arises.
If both are working class people with strict and long working
hours, who will look after the children for the periods when
they are not at home? The implication is that the house help
is going to play a great role in their childrenfs early
character formation. Is he/she well equipped for the
assignment?
A lot of people have a trial and error approach to hiring
domestic helps; I think that is dangerous. You are not just
looking for a cleaner; you are looking for somebody who is
going to play a major role in your children’s early formation
willy-nilly. You should therefore approach it like you are
choosing a spouse, because the only differences really are
that the relationship is not spousal, not permanent, not
covenanted and no vows are exchanged.
Before you hire a house help, first determine your needs and
your expectations. Then how do you source the person? Is
it through an agency, friends, relatives or some other
sources? What about background checks and guarantors?
Then you need to pray and fast for God to send the right
house help.I guess we all need to do these when we are
making important decisions and the choice of a house help
is a fundamental decision.
Once you get somebody, you should check whether he/she
meets your needs and expectations. If he/she does, the
terms of the relationship must be clearly stated and
understood by all parties. Then you should do medical
exams for him/her. Some of them have contagious
diseases, to which your children should not be exposed.
Once all these steps are completed, the house help moves
into your family’s life practically. Please internalise it that
he/she is a human being, not subhuman; he/she is only
doing this job due to circumstances and not really by
choice.
I am yet to see a house help who will not opt for a better job
if given the choice. As a result of their disadvantaged
background, a lot of house helps come with frustration and
grudges. Do not rub it in with your attitude towards them.
Deal with them as you would your own.
I am not suggesting they sit at table with you during meals,
but heaven will not fall if you give them good meals. Some
people give their house helps food that is not fit for animals
while enjoying choice food with their family which the house
help participated in preparing and serving the choice food!