Renowned human rights activist, Sola Salako-Ajulo who can be described as one of former Nigeria’s oldest spinsters, got married to Mr. Femi Ajulo sometimes in the middle of last year.
However the million dollar question on the lips of many Nigerians has been why did she got married secretly.
Salako who is also the President/Founder of Consumer Advocacy Foundation of Nigeria bares it all in an interview with Punch Newspaper where she opened up on why she had a secret wedding.
Hear Her:
“I got married at 50, what is there to be loud about? Half of my life is gone, so what is there to be loud and noisy about? I don’t place emphasis on marriage like the average Nigerian person does. All the drama of marriage is not my main priority; instead I am thinking of how we can build a home together.
“The process of doing the marriage was just a ceremony. I have had weddings for my nephews and nieces and they were lavish but they are young and about to start their lives, so you can understand the euphoria. I have passed that euphoria, so what is the essence? I had some friends present at my wedding and that is what matters.”
When she was asked if she wasn’t under any pressure by parents, family or the society getting married at such age of 50, she replied…
“But I find that the greatest challenge in life is going into an eternal plan without discovering who you really are and that is the challenge of getting people into getting married early in life. Most of the people who are being pushed to get married early are yet to discover themselves, they do not even know what they want in life, and they don’t know their vision, strengths or weaknesses.
“For me, I had always been an opinionated child, so I knew what I wanted so when my parents were putting pressure on me, all I told them was that I had heard them. I had always been very independent, so I made my own way. In life, if you know where you are going through, the path would be opened for you somehow.
“I knew that I did not just want to marry for marriage sake, I wanted to discover myself and understand my purpose on earth; God could not have put me in this world with this high amount of intelligence only for me to just exist; what the Bible calls ‘begat and die’. I was not even available for them to mount pressure on me because I was too busy. An aunt could see me and talk about marriage but the next time she would see me again was probably after a year. Usually, you feel the pressure if you are not engaged in something. I would not say that I am the average Nigerian girl.”
Sola Salako also admitted that some people believe she was a very tough person to deal with. Hear what she had to say to this…
“Most people that have worked with me think that I am hard because I don’t have much patience but once you get the rhythm you learn a lot from me because I would challenge you. The good thing about me is that as harsh as people think I am, I make room for people’s mistakes and I hardly ever sack people. You have to put yourself in a position to be sacked before it happens. In fact, most times they sack themselves. I have people who have worked with me for years and they have offended me but I let it go simply because I have found out that in life, everybody is learning. I am not a hard boss but I am a tough person to deal with if you are not committed to excellence. The good thing about me is that if you upset me, I would tell you immediately.”
Salako also explained on why she did not have suitors. He said many Nigerian men were too afraid to “toast” her.
“Only a few Nigerian men are confident and it is not their fault. The way they are brought up, a lot of pressure is put on them because they are men. We live in a patriarchal society where the men are worshipped and they start feeling like a demi-god, so they don’t have enough patience for women who are different. They feel that since we don’t think and act like them, we ought to occupy a particular role. They don’t have enough confidence in themselves to think that they can marry an articulate, intelligent, opinionated and bold woman. Their sense of worth is derived from their ego and for them to live with a woman, she must be their subordinate. A woman can have more than the man but if he appreciates the lady as a human being and appreciates her person, he should be able to balance their life. A lot of men found me intimidating.”
She however said her husband is different from the typical Nigerian suitor, and that conversely he was attracted to her because of her intelligence which is what scares most men. “He is probably more intelligent than I am; when we start arguing, I hardly win the case, she added.
