Two Months Old Marriage At The Brink Of Divorce Because Wife Can't Do This - AMEBO NEWSPAPERS NG.

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Two Months Old Marriage At The Brink Of Divorce Because Wife Can't Do This

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"Hey guys! Using a throwaway because my husband uses Reddit as well.

"My husband and I got married 2 months ago after a long-distance relationship. We're compatible in almost every way except the following:

"For background - I've worked since the legal age where I was from (14 in Canada) and have held down a job since. I paid my way through school, bought my own cars and everything in between. I have a degree in marketing and was decently successful in my opinion. My husband is from the USA and I moved here after our wedding whilst waiting out my green card process. This means that I cannot legally work until I have my green card as I don't have an SSN. I have tried to find some odd jobs just to get out of the house and socialize (ex-dog walking). Most places require an SSN and I haven't been successful in finding anything.

"When I moved here, it was the first time I had lived outside my family home and I went from a small city in Canada to quite a large one in the United States. I knew to come in that I would need an adjustment period because I know I don't deal with change well, and I told my husband this. He agreed that I would definitely need an adjustment period. Once I got here, I felt overwhelmed and a bit lost. I didn't quite know what to do with myself, coming from working full time and having a full life in my home city, to now having only my husband and not a whole lot to do.

"I volunteer to feel productive, and I keep our house spotless and have dinner ready every evening. However, and here is where the problem lies: My husband wants me to be a "hustler". He doesn't want me to get a job once my green card comes in, he wants me to create small businesses and run them and work on hustles and hustles only. I'm artistic and enjoy making art in my wind downtime to relax my mind but he wants me to monetize it. I'm open to that but he puts this intense pressure on me to do it and do it now. Art has always been just a past time for me that I enjoy doing but he's sucking the joy out of creating for me. When I make something, he critiques it or tells me what I SHOULD be making instead. He wants me to design things for his t-shirt ideas but when I do it's never exactly what he has in his mind and he gets grumpy that I'm not creating correctly.

"When I was planning our wedding, we hired a photo-booth and I saw how much money they were making versus how much work it was to run it and I thought it was a great side income to think about. I posed it to him and he thought it was great and wanted to buy one. I did all the research for running it in the new city and had a solid marketing plan in mind. When it came down to buying and starting it my husband kept evading the topic and so finally I dropped it.

"I've lived here for 2 months and just went back home for a quick trip and came back refreshed and ready to put my nose to the ground and start putting serious thought into how to make some money. But every second day my husband wants to sit down for a "serious talk" about why I haven't come up with a hustle. I don't feel like I can come up with something out of thin air. When I ask for input or advice he gets frustrated and moody that he needs to “hold my hand through everything”. I need to WANT to do it for it to be successful. He wants me to do put my hand in multiple pots and do a lot of everything whereas I believe if I'm going to do something, I need to do that and do it well.

"He constantly says it's not about me having an income and he doesn't care about the money, but then his tone when talking about "not finding my hustle yet" has undercurrents of "why aren't you contributing financially". I want to contribute financially and we are close to finishing the green card process and I will be able to get a job once that happens but he does NOT want me to get a regular job. I want to have a stable income because stability is very important to me. I am open to having a side hustle to bring in extra income but I don't want to do something just for the sake of saying I'm "hustling" which is what he wants me to do.

"This is honestly completely driving me away from my husband because every "serious talk" makes me feel like a complete failure and like I don't have drive or potential or talent. I've always worked hard and was successful in my life before moving here but this has put so much doubt in my mind and has greatly affected my self-confidence. Today was the last straw for me when he sat me down for yet another "serious talk" when we JUST had one 2 nights ago.

"I told him then that I had some ideas that I was working on (which I was about to right before he sat me down for the talk) and he said that it's not his fault he didn't remember the conversation because "you know I have a short term memory". This is such a cop-out to me, and constantly bringing it up when I think we've laid the issue to rest because he can't seem to remember the conversation from 2 nights prior is what is really starting to grate on me. It's like micromanaging and breathing down my neck with no space to breathe, get accustomed to my new surroundings and while finding this "hustle" he so greatly wants me to find.

"He is constantly reading those Instagram inspiration business pages that talk about "start a business for under $250", and "if you are making excuses you're not passionate enough", and "secrets to a successful life" accounts and I feel this is the root of all these things that we are facing.

"I've lived here for two months and I think it was fair for me to take a little time to adjust to 1. Living together for the first time (we were LDR), 2. Living in a new place and new country altogether, and out of my parents home and on my own for the first time, 3. Build our home from scratch (we had absolutely nothing except 1 bed) and I wanted to get at least the basics together to make it somewhat of a home so we could be comfortable in our space. He didn't give me space to breathe during that entire time even though I had made it clear before moving that I would need it and he agreed and even when I would bring it up during that time, he would not back off.

"If you've stuck around reading all that mind ramble, thank you and please share your thoughts and insights on this situation. Maybe I am missing something but this is beginning to make me resent him so much that sometimes I regret moving here and not just waiting out my green card process in Canada."

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