Why we slept with our daughters - AMEBO FEEDS BLOG

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Monday, 11 March 2019

Why we slept with our daughters


Oleawale Ibitoye, 45 sleeps with his 14-year old daughter who is a secondary school dropout. He had been sleeping with his daughter since she was eight in their residence in Ketu Epe area of Lagos. When he had his fill of his daughter, he married her off against her will. The act was made public after the girl suffered prolonged labor during child birth which eventually led to the death of her baby.

Explaining how Ibitoye was arrested, Commissioner of Police Lagos State Police Command, Imohimi Edgal, said:

“The cat was let out of the bag when the teenager became pregnant and was in labour for many days without being able to deliver the baby. “She was then taken to a trado-medical home, where she confessed that her father had been having sex with her before he forced her into marriage with Moses Okurukpe, perhaps to cover his tracks. “This is child marriage, sexual abuse and exploitation of the highest order.

Asiru Amusat, 60 was arrested for defiling his 12-year-old daughter. He blames his unholy indulgence on the handiwork of the devil. Speaking with journalists at the command headquarters, he explained that “it happened in the afternoon. I can’t explain how. But she came to me.

It happened on a Saturday, when my woman-friend went to buy foodstuff.” The suspects, Edgal said, will be charged to the appropriate courts as soon as investigations are concluded, even as he cautioned parents never to leave their female children without proper supervision.

Mohammed Ahmed, 34, confessed to the Nigerian Security and Civil Defense corps (NSCDC) in Osogbo, Osun State that he had been sleeping with his daughter, 14, since April 2018. Ahmed explained that he taught his daughter how to have a good sex on bed and that anytime he needed her, he would just take her to bed. For Ahmed, there is nothing wrong with his making love to his daughter. “I don’t know what came over me from April that I have been having sex with my daughter. Any time I was having sex with her, I did not see anything wrong in it”

“I only have sex with her six times since April 2015. But, I am regretting it now when NSCDC officials arrested me over the matter.” It was discovered that Ahmed started sleeping with his daughter after he divorced the girl’s mother who later died.
The daughter, a primary 4 pupil of a public school, and her nine-year-old sister were both living with their father in a single room apartment.

I only had sex with her six times since April 2015- Ahmed

The Head of Public Relations and Protocol Unit of NSCDC, Mr Wale Folarin, said “his men acted promptly and arrested the man after a tip-off from one of his neighbours. The neighbour, according to him, claimed that the girl always screams whenever her father was having sexual intercourse with her.

He said: “The whole truth was revealed when the said neighbour made an enquiry from the little girl of what makes her cry like that almost every night.
“She confessed to the neighbour that it was her father who usually forces her to bed. When the neighbour reported the case to us, we swung into action to right all wrongs”.

It was my father who usually forces me to bed.

But why do men commit incest with their daughters?

Cheryl Wilson a social worker with Sunbeam Family Services explains that Father-daughter incest is caused when Family-oriented men desperate for affection and nurture, want to keep the family together and do not want to go outside the family to fulfill their needs.

She further explains that sexual intimacy with a child is gradual and develops over a number of years. Sexual abuse she explains begins usually with some type of fondling when the child is between 9 and 12 years old. Children are also vulnerable to becoming incest victims between 3 and 6 years old.

Many Family Counselors however agree that:

If a father becomes sexually exposed when dressing in front of his child, sleeping with his child, or taking a bath with his child, he is behaving in an incestuous way.

Wilson concludes that quiet many of the victims and abusers are from lower-income families, incest can occur in families of any socio-economic level, but the higher families can cover it up easily.

How do we go from here?

If a father becomes sexually exposed when dressing in front of his child, sleeping with his child, or taking a bath with his child, he is behaving in an incestuous way.

The answer perhaps is straight forward, either we mitigate and control this menace to zero level by creating jobs and platforms for inclusive growth and shared prosperity of every Nigerians or we are forced to make spaces and allowances for this menace in about 10 years when the issue would have become a social problem of a gigantic dimension.

Fathers must learn to control their sexual urges especially when in close proximity with their female daughters.

Religious leaders and leaders of public thoughts must also instruct their followers on the dangers of incestuous relationships on the victims and the general society given that incest is a vice that all religions abhor.

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